Beginning again

I seem to be out of the blogging habit, eh? I’m sitting in front of a fire on a spectacular early August evening—grey sky turned blue, early evening sunset just dying off in the distance (it’s 5:40, late dusk). Thus ends my first week back in New Zealand, and I suppose it’s time to begin to process all of this.

Top of mind is what’s going on at the house. Yesterday we had an insanely frustrating experience with the architects at the new house. They were convinced that their plan was the right one; I wanted them to listen to the rationale for my plan. Not meaning to disparage an entire profession, but what is it about architects that makes them not want to listen to clients?? We have had this experience on multiple occasions, and it’s not that fun. In this case, we’re on a tight timeline, and I come off as the stupid little woman who needs to be convinced about the error of my ways. What a pain!

So today I went back and spent several hours in the house. Sitting, pacing, living out dinner parties and sleepovers in a variety of configurations. I sat in the sunshine on the floor in the lounge and heard the rhythmic crashing of the waves. I stood at the kitchen sink and watched the sheep move on the steep hills on the far side of the village—the hills which somehow form the incredibly wooded and private backdrop for a house right in the centre of the village. And in the house, trying on these different layouts, living in the space, feeling seasons pass and children’s birthday parties come and go, watching friends gather around tables that weren’t there yet and celebrating occasions that I haven’t dreamt about yet, I got this amazing surge of happiness. This house—layout currently under negotiation—is so beautiful, so profoundly a part of this shockingly-beautiful landscape. It is a strange and magical gift that it has come into my life at all, and I nearly wept with pleasure at the idea that we could be the stewards of the house for the next period. What an honour.

(And I still like my original layout best.)

Overall it’s been a lovely week. It was fantastic to be back at NZCER, to see my friends there, to begin to plunge back into that work. Suddenly there’s more work than time, and I feel like I might even make a contribution to that place. And, to add to the delight, it seems like people actually missed me. And non-work friends seem to have missed me, too. It’s a small bunch, but much more vital and present than last time I came back, so I can almost imagine that some of these people will care about the layout of this magnificent new house of ours. There’s still the misery of putting together the tenure portfolio to shadow the wintery August evenings, but with a fire and a glass of New Zealand pinot noir, all things seem possible. It’s good to be home, wherever home might be just at the moment.