I can’t tell whether I actually
feel worse today or whether I was expecting to feel so much better that the status
quo feels miserable. But today is hard. My day nurse, Diane, says it’s typical
to go a little backwards on the second day. So I guess I’m being typical again.
I quite like being typical, though in this case I’d rather take after my father
whose knee replacement recovery made him the literal poster boy for the
hospital (I can show you the posters…). I’d like to tell that story.
The story I’m living today is of
feeling so itchy under my substantial bandages and not wanting to eat anything
at all. The drugs to keep the pain and infection down also make me nauseous,
which is not that fun but surely better than pain and infection. So they give
me drugs for that too, but still I don’t feel particularly good alas. And we’re
all starting to wonder what it’ll be like to fly home tomorrow and also what it
will be like to try to recuperate at home when there’s no nurse’s button to
ring every time the pain gets a little too much. I guess the idea is that I really
am improving slowly but surely and that tomorrow is a whole 24 hours away.
The funny bit today is that as
Michael and his friend were talking to each other in my room, I would drift in
and out of sleep and weave their stories into my dreams. I kept trying to run
or bat things away with my arm and I’d startle myself awake to find them
laughing at me. A hospital room is not a barrel of laughs, so you have to take
what you can get.
I’ll hope to have a better report
for you tomorrow—or even later tonight—as my spirits rise and my food stays
down. Love to all.
6 comments:
Lovely Jennifer. How amazing you are to be sharing your experience so intimately with us. And how beautifully you do that. I haven't stopped thinking about you - with you in spirit every step of the way, knowing what you're going through at least through my own experience. I am so delighted things are going well and the prognosis is positive.
I do think its normal to have a bad day or two. I remember trying to be so strong but day 3 for me was a very teary one. Fed up!!
A piece of advise my breast specialist nurse gave me was to make sure I had an afternoon nap every day once I got home. It was good advice and I took it. It did make a difference to my energy and coping ability.
You are truly an amazing woman Jennifer. Inspirational. I love how you look at this like its a blessing and you're looking at all the positives that may come out of it in the long run. I also admire how you've been willing to share your fears and deepest feelings.
I'd like to come and visit shortly but I'll check in to see when would be good for you.
Lots and lots of love and hugs.
Karen
Brave lady! You make me so proud. I feel so blessed to know you and have had you as a teacher. I tell everyone who cares about how you taught me to get my pen/pencil on the paper and "just write." Before your class I struggled with that first step. Now I am constantly looking for said items (or my blackberry) to write notes on what I want to add to my blog, place in an article, etc. Of course, yearbook was a pleasure, as well.
I even got your book for my Dad when it was first published. (Still need to borrow and read it myself.)
I nearly proposed your blog several years back for a selection for my book club. What a teacher, what a talent, what important and honest perspectives.
We love you and your family Mrs. Berger! We wish you only the best.
Brave lady! You make me so proud. I feel so blessed to know you and have had you as a teacher. I tell everyone who cares about how you taught me to get my pen/pencil on the paper and "just write." Before your class I struggled with that first step. Now I am constantly looking for said items (or my blackberry) to write notes on what I want to add to my blog, place in an article, etc. Of course, yearbook was a pleasure, as well.
I even got your book for my Dad when it was first published. (Still need to borrow and read it myself.)
I nearly proposed your blog several years back for a selection for my book club. What a teacher, what a talent, what important and honest perspectives.
We love you and your family Mrs. Berger! We wish you only the best.
Ugh. But even the poster boy had to go back into surgery to clear an infection that kept the wound seeping and the leg bloated. They had to keep me in the hospital an extra three or four days.
Flying home today? Take it slow and easy, Jennifer. Michael will make an excellent nurse, but supplement his services by hiring a real one if necessary.
Slow and easy. And drugs.
Ditto on Jimmy's comments.
Hope you can feel all our love over the miles and oceans between us,
Lori & Stephanie
Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers as you continue to heal and your body learns to thrive again! Stay on the good path!
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