Today was the day when clarity would come, when the path before me
would become crystal clear. Or perhaps it isn’t that day. I’ve just talked with
my surgeon who has had an oral report from the biopsy of everything they took
out. And there is good news and some mediocre news (which isn’t a surprise) and
quite a lot of confusion left (which is a bummer).
The best news: the cancer has not spread to the lymph nodes. Just
typing that sentence brings me great joy.
Other good news: it has stayed classified as a Grade 2 cancer (mid
range aggressive on a scale of 1-3). It is ER+ and PR + and HER2-. These are
all good makers that mean that there are some ways to treat any possible
remaining cancer (with tamoxofin) that starves it of the thing that it eats.
The not so good news. The tumour was bigger than they thought: 35mm.
And there was a very large section (80mm), as they thought, of DCIS (which is a
pre cancer) threaded through the breast. He says this is a big volume of
disease and influences future treatment options.
The confusing bit: the doctor says that because I'm young, and
because there was so much cancer, I still might want to have chemo and
radiation to safeguard myself from future cancer. I need to decide that in
concert with an oncologist. He would lean towards chemo because I'm young and
want to have a long and cancer free life ahead of me, but he says my case is
very borderline. So there's still not the clarity I was hoping. But oooh, the
news about the lymph nodes is wonderful. It means that there’s no more surgery
and that I am, right now, cancer free(ish).
And today has had other healing markers too. I saw a local doctor to
look at my wounds and see how I’m doing and remove my oh-so-icky drain. The
last time that doctor saw me was the day I found the lump, and he was pretty
taken aback to see what my January had looked like, but he says I’m healing
quickly and well. And it is such a delight to have the drain gone and to be
feeling stronger each day. So there are other, unanticipated decisions ahead of
me, and to mark those, I’m going to go take a nap. One foot in front of the
next…
4 comments:
Great and bummer. It was lovely spending time with you today Jennifer - comparing war wounds!
One thing I asked my breast specialist is "what would you do if it were your wife?" I feel he answered me honestly.
Lots of love
Karen xxx
Jennifer, I have been thinking of you all day and holding you close to my heart as I knew this would be a big day. I am thrilled with you over the free lymph nodes news; that is indeed fantastic! I will continue to hold on to you as you navigate the next steps and make decisions that you feel are best for you. Much love~
Jennifer, it is odd to follow your progress from a distance…peeking in now and then to reassure myself that you are doing okay…that you are navigating the uncertainty of it all and holding yourself gently. There are many of us out here…out of sight...holding you in our hearts. Take good care. Heal well.
Hi, just lurking here - commenting now and then to let you know I'm thinking of you.
Some big events worth remarking on:
Aidan starts high school - wow.
You become New Zealand citizens next week! Also cool.
Stupid cancer, trying to crowd out the other remarkable life events. I'm mad at it.
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